Motherhood didn't start like I had dreamed it would.
I always wanted to be a mama. I use to dream about it as a child. I would be a kind mother, devoted to my children, Loving my children and all the while still being me. I knew there would be hard days, but on the whole I would just LOVE it.
After my first, little Camden, I suffered with Postpartum Depression for close to 7 months. I felt as if I was failing at being a good mother and I only had one child. I had read about this happening and I knew accepting help, getting out and about, and taking care of myself could help. It mentioned the depths to which postpartum depression could go, but for me, I never wanted to hurt myself or my child. I just felt like I was missing something....that I wasn't me.
I didn't understand how a mother could feel this way? I was so excited to meet our little baby when I was pregnant, and when he was born, I cried because my love for him bubbled over. This wasn't how my motherhood journey was supposed to start.
I had a rough start, those I was meant to trust (family, friends, nurses, lactation specialist, and Drs), made me feel pressured, and convinced me that I was failing my baby. I suddenly felt that I knew nothing and that I should just follow along with what everyone suggested.
The moment I remember the most clearly in this fog of postpartum depression was when I arrived at my sons baby shower. I was late, my son was crying (he was hungry and cried the whole drive over). I climbed the stairs with my crying baby and walked into the room and immediately all eyes were upon me. I saw my mom, and I went towards her...trying desperately to hold it together. I reached her and burst into tears, all those pressures of being a new mother had been building up. I was being pulled in so many different directions and just felt like I had to "deal" with it. but my mom saw "me". I remember her coming alongside me and as we turned to go downstairs I heard some of the ladies say how I had the "Baby blues". We went down and I sat in the sanctuary with my mom, crying... A short minute later a dear friend came and sat with us. I was encouraged to nurse my son, to take care of me and him first, and that all those upstairs could wait. I had been told to do what I felt I needed to do, what I should do..not what they thought I should do...or being told how I should do it. Simply to do what I needed to do. From the start of my labor I had been pressured to do things as others had suggested and to finally hear that I could do things the way I thought I should, was my turning point. So I did. I took care of my son, and I worked on caring for me.
Ladies, our bodies go through so much the 9 months we carry our babies. After our babies are born, our bodies continue to change. We have a huge drop in hormones, we have to figure out life with a whole new person. Its a lot! The last thing we need is someone telling us what we should be doing.
So now, here I am. letting you know that its okay to do what you think you should, and that I am here. To be a listing ear, encourager, or to be that person that tells you to do what YOU think you should do. If you need help, holler at me. I am not just writing that. I mean that!! I needed someone to see "me". So if you need someone. I am here.
Know someone who might be interested in a session? I’d love to talk with them about my beautiful Family, Maternity, and Newborn sessions. Whimsy Moments Photography is an on location natural light photographer. Whimsy Moments Photography specializes in Maternity, Newborn and Family Photography serving Brush, Fort Morgan, Wiggins, Greeley, Kersey, Woodrow, Last Chance, Limon, Akron, Byers, Strasburg, and Bennett areas. To book a session please visit my home page www.whimsymomentsphotography.com and contact me! I can’t wait to meet you and I’m so happy that you stopped by!